Did you hear about the guy who spent a whole weekend watching football?
Well, on Monday his wife tried to wake him up for work and said, “Come on, Larry, it’s twenty to seven!”
He looked around and said, “What? Really? Who’s winning?”
How far is it from one basketball court to the next?
Just a hoop, skip, and a jump!
In a game of basketball a player said to the other team,”You guys were way ahead! Now we’re tied!”
The other player said “Not for long, Shoelace!”
“Why are you calling me Shoelace?” asks the player who started the conversation.
“Because i just unTIED you!”
Q: How do you make a football player feel cold?
A: Make him stand close to the fans!
What did the boxer say to his barber?
Give me an uppercut!