Cool Teenage Martian: I was at a party on Mercury last night.
His Friend: Was it any good?
Cool Teenage Martian: No! It was really boring.
His Friend: How come?
Cool Teenage Martian: There was no atmosphere.
If your hamster dies where do you buy a new one?
New Hamster!
What will happen if a hen drinks hot water?
She will give cooked eggs!
A millionaire is hosting a party at his house and invites his guests to the pool area. He tells them, “Inside the pool are two great white sharks! Anyone who’s brave enough to swim across the pool, I will give them whatever they want.” The guests talk to themselves but no jumps in, suddenly a splash is heard and everyone turns to see a guy swimming in the pool. He passes the two sharks and makes it safely to the end of the pool, the millionaire grabs his hand and tells him “Sir I’m a man of my word what do you want? I’ll give you anything.” The man replies…
“Give me the name of the person that pushed me in!”
What did the horse say when it fell over?
Help me, I can’t giddy up!
What did the the umpire say to the dirty gym sock when they were safe?
FOUL!!
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