How do you get a book to like you?
You check it out.
What animal can hit a baseball?
A bat!
A missionary was walking in Africa when he heard the ominous padding of a lion behind him. “Oh Lord,” prayed the missionary, “Grant in thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion.”
In the silence that followed, the missionary heard the lion praying too: “Oh lord,” he prayed, “I thank thee for the food which I am about to receive.”
What did the clock say to the waiter whenever a couple walked in to the restaurant?
“1:42!” (one for de two)
What do you call a tree that grows poems instead of fruits?
Poetry!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it felt crummy!
