A missionary was walking in Africa when he heard the ominous padding of a lion behind him. “Oh Lord,” prayed the missionary, “Grant in thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion.”
In the silence that followed, the missionary heard the lion praying too: “Oh lord,” he prayed, “I thank thee for the food which I am about to receive.”
What did the clock say to the waiter whenever a couple walked in to the restaurant?
“1:42!” (one for de two)
What do you call a tree that grows poems instead of fruits?
Poetry!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it felt crummy!
A boy asked a sea shell, “Can I go on the sand too?” and the sea shell didn’t answer.
“Fine!” the boy said. “Be shellfish and keep all the sand for yourself!”
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack!