What’s black and white and red all over?
A zebra with a sunburn!
What did the Christmas tree say to the light bulb when it was sad?
Lighten up!
Why did the doctor leave his office?
Because he ran out of patience!
Patient: Doctor, my neck hurts every morning.
Doctor: Well, what do you do every morning?
Patient:I milk the cows, and then they do something.
Doctor: What do they do?
Patient: Hurt my neck!
Why do pirates bring a bar of soap on board their ship?
So if they are shipwrecked, they can wash themselves ashore!
What dog has the most ticks?
A watch dog!
