I got my wife laser eye surgery for her birthday.
She dumped me.
Where do horses go to read books?
Barnes and Noble!
How do fish know how heavy they are?
Because they carry their own scales.
Where to snakes go out to eat?
A Sssssizzzzler Restaurant!
What did one turnip say to another turnip?
When did you turn-up!
Why are Grandfather’s teeth like stars?
Because they come out at night!
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