What kind of jokes do veggies like?
Corny ones!
What did the math teacher say to her boyfriend?
You have my digits! 
How do you make a egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk!
Why didn`t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?
Because it had more cents.
One day a kid got mad because his father made him wear a parachute and asks his dad why he has to wear it.
The father asks, “Son, if your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?”
and the kid says, “Well, I got this parachute…”
and the kid says, “Well, I got this parachute…”
What did Apple call their new, large computer?
The Big Mac!
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