Dad, why do I have to go to bed?
Because the bed won’t come to you!
Why can’t a koala be an expert witness?
He’s not koala-fied!
Why is a ceiling that has a hole in it like a vegetable junkie?
Because they both have leek/leaks!
There were three men sitting on a bench waiting for a bus. They started talking about how they decided how much of their extra money (money left over after their expenses were paid) they gave to God. The first man said, “Well I throw my money in the air and what lands on my right side I give to God, what lands on my left side I keep for myself.”
The second man said, “I throw my money in the air and what lands heads I give to God and what lands tails I keep for myself.”
They asked the third man what he did and he said……..
“I throw my money in the air and what stays in the air I give to God, what falls to the ground I keep for myself!”
How did the skunk phone his mother?
On a smellular phone!
WHAT DID THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS SAY TO THE CAR?
DON’T LOOK I’M CHANGING!
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