A woman and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver says, “My! That is the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the back of the bus furious. She says to the man next to her, “That bus driver just insulted me!”
The man says, “Go ahead! Give him a piece of your mind! I’ll hold your monkey for you!”
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Jalapeno.
Jalapeno, who?
That girl keeps getting jalapeno business! (All up in your business!)
Why did the ref kick the vending machine?
He wanted to flip the coin!
What did Humpty Dumpty do when he heard a joke?
He cracked up!
What did the lawyer wear to court?
A lawsuit!
Why did the mushroom get invited to so many parties?
He was a fungi! (A fun guy!)
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