What did the bookshelf say to the curtain when it was going crazy?
Pull yourself together!
Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Ear
Ear who?
Here we are!
How do cows say 12 o’clock?
Moon!
Mother ant : So how was work, dear?
Dad ant: Pretty good. Except I do find my boss quite annoying.
Mother ant: Why?
Dad ant: Because he’s a bug.
What is higher than heaven, deeper than the sea, the homeless have it and the rich don’t have it?
Nothing
Did you hear about the guy who watched football all day and fell asleep in front of the TV?
His wife woke him up the next day saying “Get up honey, it’s twenty to seven!”
“Really?” he says. “Who’s winning?”
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