At what time do you go when it’s red and stop when it’s green?
When you’re eating a watermelon!
A man is sitting alone at a bar. No one else is there except the bartender. All of a sudden, he hears someone say “Nice shirt.” He looks around, and nobody’s there. A little while later, he hears “I like your tie.” Looks around and, again, nobody’s there. Once again he hears the same voice say “You seem like a nice guy. We should be friends.” Again nobody is there so he asks the bartender. What does the bartender say to him?
It’s the peanuts. They’re complimentary!
What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
They have the same middle name!!!!!!!
What happened when Batman and Robin got run over by a steam roller?
They became Flatman and Ribbon!!!!!!!
What kind of concert costs 45 cents?
50 cents featuring Nickelback!
What do turkeys do on Thanksgiving?
Well, celebrate if they’re alive …
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