Mother ant : So how was work, dear?
Dad ant: Pretty good. Except I do find my boss quite annoying.
Mother ant: Why?
Dad ant: Because he’s a bug.
What is higher than heaven, deeper than the sea, the homeless have it and the rich don’t have it?
Nothing
Did you hear about the guy who watched football all day and fell asleep in front of the TV?
His wife woke him up the next day saying “Get up honey, it’s twenty to seven!”
“Really?” he says. “Who’s winning?”
Why did the boy throw a clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly!
What do you call a snail on a ship?
A Snailer!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Tish.
Tish who?
Oh, do you need a tissue?
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