So a little boy was in the library and asked the librarian, “Can I please have a hamburger and french fries?” and the librarian said, “Little boy, this is a library.” What did the little boy say back?
A dumb guy works at a donut shop. It was his first day there. A customer walks in and says, “How much are these donuts?”. The dumb guy says, “I don’t know.” So the customer left. The manager walked in and said, “No, no, you’re supposed to say, ‘Only a dollar and 25 cents.’”
Another customer walks in and says, “Are these donuts fresh?” And the dumb guys says, “I don’t know.” So the customer left. The manager walked in and said, “No, no, you’re supposed to say, ‘Yes, yes, very fresh.’”
Another customer walks in and says, “Can I buy these?” And the dumb guy says, “I don’t know.” So the customer left. The manager walks in and says, “No, no, you’re supposed to say, ‘If you don’t somebody else will.’”
The robber says, “Are you trying to be fresh with me?” The dumb guy says, “Yes, yes, very fresh!”
The robber says, “Can I shoot you?” The dumb guy replies, “If you don’t somebody else will!”
Knock Knock..
Who’s there?
Phillip
Phillip who?
Two guys were camping in the forest. One guy was named Tom and the other one was named Pete. All of a sudden a bear started chasing after them. Tom and Pete climbed a nearby tree, but the bear started knocking the tree. “This tree won’t stay up for long.” said Tom. He saw Pete tying his shoelaces like he was about to run. “Pete! You could never outrun that bear!” Said Tom. “I don’t have to outrun the bear.” Pete said
How did the farmer fix his jeans?
Commander: Enemy at 2 o clock!
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