Why was the Calendar scared all the time?
His days were numbered!
A man walked into a cafe and ordered,
“I would like to order one undercooked egg so it’s runny, and one overcooked egg do it’s hard and impossible to eat. I also want burnt toast, bacon a bit cold on one side, and butter straight from the fridge so it is impossible to spread”. The waiter said that it might be a bit difficult.
To which the man replied:
“It can’t be that difficult because that was exactly what you brought me yesterday!”
How do you wake Lady Gaga in the morning?
You poke her face! (Poker Face!!)
What do you call a dancing sheep?
A baaaaaaalerina!
How do you clean your dog?
With shampoodle!
What did the Muffin Man do yesterday?
Muffin really.
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