Is your fridge running?
Then you better go catch it!
A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.”
The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”
The little girl replied, “My homework.”
Why does a cow have a bell?
Because their HORNS don’t work!
There are two muffins in the oven, one says,”Boy, it’s getting hot in here.” The other one says:
“Ahh! A talking muffin!”
What happens if a frog parks in a no parking zone?
He gets toad!
A gourgeous lady walked over to an American, Australian and a man from the Philippines.
Woman:Whoever uses the phrase “liver and cheese” in a creative sentence can marry me.
American:I love liver and cheese.
Woman:That’s not good enough.
Australian:I hate liver and cheese.
Woman:That’s not creative enough.
Man from Philippines:Liver alone cheese mine!(Translation:Live her alone she’s mine!)ha!ha!ha!
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