What song do bees like?
The a bee c song!
A kid brought his dog to school. At show and tell, when it was his turn in front of the class, the teacher asked, “What have you brought?”
“I’ve brought my talking dog,” the kid replied.
“Oh?” said the teacher. “And what can your talking dog say?”
The kid leaned down to the dog and said, “What’s on top of a house?” The dog immediately said, “Woof!”
The class groaned. “That was too easy,” the teacher smiled. “Can your dog say anything else?”
The kid leaned down and said to his dog, “What’s on a tree?” The dog replied, “Bark!”
“Aww, way too easy,” everyone said. “Anything better than that?”
The kid leaned down to the dog and said, “What do my little brother and sister do during dinner?” The dog replied: “Yap! Yap!”
The class groaned louder. The teacher said, “Thank you for bringing in your dog, but maybe those are just dog sounds, not really talking, hm?”
Another kid from the back of the class piped up, “Yeah, maybe if he knew French or something, it might have impressed us a little more.”
The kid slunk back to his seat. And as he sat down, the dog said, loudly enough so all could hear, and in a most apologetic tone, “I’m sorry, class–I don’t know any French.”
How did Santa climb up the chimney?
With his “claws”!
Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!
Why was the Calendar scared all the time?
His days were numbered!
A man walked into a cafe and ordered,
“I would like to order one undercooked egg so it’s runny, and one overcooked egg do it’s hard and impossible to eat. I also want burnt toast, bacon a bit cold on one side, and butter straight from the fridge so it is impossible to spread”. The waiter said that it might be a bit difficult.
To which the man replied:
“It can’t be that difficult because that was exactly what you brought me yesterday!”
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