4th of July Jokes

What did Polly the parrot want on the 4th of July?

A fire cracker!
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What did the little firecracker say to the big firecracker?

Hi, Pop!
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What did the big firecracker say to little firecracker?

My pop is bigger than your pop!
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Who gave the liberty Bell to Philadephia?

A duck family, Because it had a qwack in it!
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Teacher: Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?

Pupil: Because it can’t sit down
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Once, in the 1800’s, there was a little boy playing around his house. He was twirling around, and suddenly, he knocked over the outhouse. Frightened that he would be caught, he ran into the woods and didn’t come out until it got dark. When he arrived back home, his father was waiting for him. He asked suspiciously,”Son, did you knock over the outhouse?”
“No, father,” the son lied.
“Well, let me tell you a story,” said the father.”Once, not that long ago, Abraham Lincoln received a shiny new axe from his father. Excited, he tried it out on a tree, swiftly cutting it down. But as he looked at the tree, with dismay he realized it was his mother’s favorite cherry tree,” his father paused.” just like you, he ran into the woods. When he returned,his father asked,’Did you cut down the cherry tree?’ Abraham answered with,’Father, I cannot tell a lie. I did indeed chop down the tree.’ Then the father said, ‘Well, since you were honest with me, you are spared from punishment. I hope you have learned your lesson, though.’ So,” the little boy’s father asked again,” did you knock down the outhouse?”
“Father, I cannot tell a lie.” said the little boy. “I did indeed knock down the outhouse.”
Then the father spanked the little boy red, white, and blue. The boy whimpered,”Father, I told you the truth! Why did you spank me?”

The father answered,”That’s because Abraham Lincoln’s father wasn’t in the tree when he chopped it down!”
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