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4th of July Jokes

From GraceyA, age 10, United States

Once, in the 1800’s, there was a little boy playing around his house. He was twirling around, and suddenly, he knocked over the outhouse. Frightened that he would be caught, he ran into the woods and didn’t come out until it got dark. When he arrived back home, his father was waiting for him. He asked suspiciously,”Son, did you knock over the outhouse?”
“No, father,” the son lied.
“Well, let me tell you a story,” said the father.”Once, not that long ago, Abraham Lincoln received a shiny new axe from his father. Excited, he tried it out on a tree, swiftly cutting it down. But as he looked at the tree, with dismay he realized it was his mother’s favorite cherry tree,” his father paused.” just like you, he ran into the woods. When he returned,his father asked,’Did you cut down the cherry tree?’ Abraham answered with,’Father, I cannot tell a lie. I did indeed chop down the tree.’ Then the father said, ‘Well, since you were honest with me, you are spared from punishment. I hope you have learned your lesson, though.’ So,” the little boy’s father asked again,” did you knock down the outhouse?”
“Father, I cannot tell a lie.” said the little boy. “I did indeed knock down the outhouse.”
Then the father spanked the little boy red, white, and blue. The boy whimpered,”Father, I told you the truth! Why did you spank me?”

The father answered,”That’s because Abraham Lincoln’s father wasn’t in the tree when he chopped it down!”
Please wait...

Filed Under: 4th of July, Home and House

From Richard, age 9, Kentucky

What is the best time to have a parade?

March
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Filed Under: 4th of July

From Melissa, age 11, Missouri

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

At the bottom!
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Filed Under: 4th of July

From Cate, age 9, Charlottesville, Virginia

What is Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?

Fire crackers!
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Filed Under: 4th of July

From Brytta, a reader, Cedar Rapids, IA

What did one firecracker say to the other firecracker?

“My pop’s bigger than your pop!”
Please wait...

Filed Under: 4th of July

From Samantha, age 10, Tennessee

A boy was walking by a flag the day before the 4th of July and the boy asked it how it was doing, but the flag just waved. Then on the next day, it was the 4th of July and there was a flag on a float (it was really a man dressed as a flag) and it kept saying “Happy 4th of July!” and the boy said…

“Oh, I guess he just had to save his voice!”
Please wait...

Filed Under: 4th of July

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