What gets long if your mother’s happy, or short if your mother’s
angry?
Your name!
People Jokes
How do you get a fat man out of bed?
Piece a cake.
So a little boy was in the library and asked the librarian, “Can I please have a hamburger and french fries?” and the librarian said, “Little boy, this is a library.” What did the little boy say back?
(in a whisper)I’m sorry. Can I please have a hamburger and french fries?
Two guys were camping in the forest. One guy was named Tom and the other one was named Pete. All of a sudden a bear started chasing after them. Tom and Pete climbed a nearby tree, but the bear started knocking the tree. “This tree won’t stay up for long.” said Tom. He saw Pete tying his shoelaces like he was about to run. “Pete! You could never outrun that bear!” Said Tom. “I don’t have to outrun the bear.” Pete said
“I just have to outrun you!”
How did the farmer fix his jeans?
With a cabbage patch!
Commander: Enemy at 2 o clock!
Pilot: What do I do till then?!
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