What do you get if you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-Lantern by its diameter?
Pumkin Pi!
A teacher was asking her class: “What is the difference between `unlawful and `illegal`?”
Only one hand shot up.
“OK, answer, Joan,” said the teacher.
“Unlawful is when you do something the council doesn’t allow and illegal is a sick eagle.”
Imagine there was a hen on a roof. The wind was going 90 miles West. It laid an egg; which way did it roll down?
Neither! You’re just imagining!
One person has a pet centipede. He asked it to get the paper. Two hours later he goes out to see what was happening. The centipede said:
Wait! I still don’t have all my shoes on?
Why was the rabbit always getting his sister in trouble?
Because his name was Buster! (bust her)
What goes up but never comes down?
Your age!
