Two snakes were slithering down the road and one turned to the other and said “Pardon me, but is it true that we are poisonous?
The other snake said yeah… I think so. Why?
Because I just bit my tongue!
Why did Bob throw the butter out the window?
He wanted to see butter fly
Naughty Kid: (Imitating his dad’s voice) Hello, my son can’t come to school today.
School Secretary: Who am I speaking to?
Naughty Kid: This is my dad speaking.
What did the tree say to the mathematician?
Gee, I’m a tree! (Geometry)
Why are Teddy Bears never hungry?
Beacause they are stuffed!
What did one clock say to the other clock when he got mad?
You tick me off!
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