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Why are opinions like armpits??

Because everybody has them and sometimes they stink!!!
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The kids at school were at the Cafeteria. There was a basket of apples with a sign saying Take One God Is Watching. There was a basket of cookies without a sign. What did the little kid write on the basket of cookies?

Take As Many As You Want. God Is Watching The Apples!
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What’s the longest word in the English vocabulary?

It is “smiles” because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
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What do you get when you cross a Boy Scout with a zombie?

A kid that scares the little old lady across the street!
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What do you call a flying skunk?

A smellacopter!
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