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What has more lives than a cat?

A frog because it croaks every night!
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What’s the first thing that happens when a platypus falls into a lake?

It gets wet!!!
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A man gets a survival guide in the mail. In one section it reads: “Never fight back to a bear.” But in the same section at the very end, it does say: “If the bear is still attacking after several minutes, consider fighting back.” Can’t you just imagine a man on his back looking at his watch, a bear clawing at his chest and him saying:

“One more minute, and THAT’S IT”
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Where do alligators go to get money?

To the river bank!
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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?

A parrot that talks your ear off!
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