Mom, why is there a cow in that truck?
He must be in the mooving business.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday!
A man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.
Doctor: Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news.
Man: Well, give me the really bad news first.
Doctor: You have cancer, and only 6 months to live.
Man: And the bad news?
Doctor: You have Alzheimer’s disease.
Man: That’s great. I was afraid I had cancer!
Doctor: You have Alzheimer’s disease.
Man: That’s great. I was afraid I had cancer!
What happens when you make fun of someone short?
They punch you in the ankle!
My friend walked into the room. I asked why her nose was so red and puffy. She said, “I stopped to smell a brose,” and I said, “There’s not a “b” in rose.”
She said, “There was in that one!”
What do Martians who use the Metric System say?
Take me to your Liter!
