What do you get if you cross a dog with a phone?
A Golden Receiver!
Why was the sea wet?
Because the Seaweed.
Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Someone to short to reach the doorbell!
There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market. The owner didn’t know what Johnny’s problem was, but the other boys would constantly tease him. They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime, Johnny would always take the nickel — they said, because it was bigger.
One day, after Johnny grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don’t know that the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it’s bigger, or what?” Johnny turned toward the store owner and a big grin appeared on his face.
Johnny said, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it. So far I’ve saved $20!”
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tom Sawyer.
Tom Sawyer Who?
Tom Sawyer underwear!!
There were 5 pigs. They went to a restaurant. When the waitress took their order, the fifth pig kept ordering water. On the way out the waitress asked why he kept ordering water.
He said ,”Well someone had to go we,we, we all the way home.”
