The shoemaker did not deny his apprentice anything he needed.
What starts with a p, ends with an e, and has a million letters in it?
A prisoner was escaping. He dug a hole into a playground and leaped out of the hole, yelling,
“I’m free! I have just become free!” A small girl looked at him and replied,
Three hicks were working on a telephone tower – Steve, Bruce and Jed. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, “Someone should go and tell his wife.”
Jed says, “OK, I’m pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I’ll do it.”
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer.
Bruce says, “Where did you get that, Jed?”
“Steve’s wife gave it to me,” Jed replies.
“That’s unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?”
She said, “No, I’m not a widow!”
And I said, “I’ll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.
What’s brown and sticky?
What did the man say to the butcher at the deli?