A guy was sitting in Starbucks when he realized he had to fart really bad. The music was really loud so he timed his farts to the beat. After a few songs he started to feel better but then he realized people were staring at him.
10 people shared a small umbrella. Why didn’t they get wet?
Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair?
Two men went hunting. One guy accidentally shot the other guy, so he called 911. He said, “I think my friends dead.” The person on the phone said, “First, make sure he’s really dead.”
What do you call a thief that steals rubber bands?
5 people were on a plane – a lawyer, the pilot, a nurse, an old grandma, and a little boy. There were 4 parachutes on board. The plane began to crash.
The pilot jumped out saying, “I’ve still got to earn more money!”
The nurse jumped out saying, “I’ve saved hundreds of lives. Now I am going to save my own.”
The lawyer jumped out saying, “I’m the smartest man in the world!”
The old grandma says to the little boy, “I’ve lived long enough. You go.”