What are ten things you can always count on?
Your fingers!
Why is everybody scared of the 7?
Because 7 8 9!
What do you call a large, grey animal that rings?
A Bellephant.
Why was the shoe late for class?
Because HE WAS TIED UP!
5 people were on a plane – a lawyer, the pilot, a nurse, an old grandma, and a little boy. There were 4 parachutes on board. The plane began to crash.
The pilot jumped out saying, “I’ve still got to earn more money!”
The nurse jumped out saying, “I’ve saved hundreds of lives. Now I am going to save my own.”
The lawyer jumped out saying, “I’m the smartest man in the world!”
The old grandma says to the little boy, “I’ve lived long enough. You go.”
The little boy said, “No need. The smartest man in the world jumped out with my book bag!”
Why did the hamburger go to the gym?
He wanted to beef up.
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